8:55 Welcome and Introductions
9:00 What Makes People Tick? – Perspectives on the Psychology of Conflict Resolution and Managing the Negotiation Within
David A. Hoffman, Boston Law Collaborative, Boston, MA
One of the bedrock principles of conflict resolution — as outlined in the book "Getting to Yes" — is that people negotiate more effectively if they can focus on underlying interests and welfare-maximizing options. But embattled parties often come to the negotiation table awash in emotions and impulses that complicate the job of fostering rational, interest-based problem-solving. Psychologists have long understood that individuals have distinct sub-personalities, which are often in conflict with each other as they seek to guide our thinking and behavior. The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model provides professionals with an important tool for understanding and managing our own internal negotiations and teaching these techniques to our clients. The IFS model is not about families — rather, it is about the family-like relationships that our internal parts (our internal "voices") have. In this workshop, David Hoffman describes the IFS model and how it can be used by dispute resolvers to promote more constructive conflict resolution.
11:00 Break
11:10 Getting Lost In Our Own Lives†
Robynn E. Moraites, North Carolina Lawyer Assistance Program, Raleigh
Sometimes finding the harmony between work and personal time is difficult. Hear practical tips for successfully finding a balance, the hazards to watch out for and the resources available to help.
12:10 Adjourn
† Indicates portion providing Substance Abuse/Mental Health credit
Thank you for joining us today for day one of Who Are You? Pleased to Meet Me – What You Know About Yourself and Others, Consciously or Unconsciously (2021 Dispute Resolution Section Program). We'll see you tomorrow.
This program addresses issues impacting how we see ourselves, how we respond to others, how others respond to us and how we can attempt to handle all that goes on in our lives, while thriving in the dispute resolution practice area.
Deborah L. Dilman is an attorney at Southpark Family Law in Charlotte. She had worked for many years in the financial industry prior to practicing family law. While she enjoyed her employment, she did not feel she was making a meaningful impact on client's lives. She wanted to work to make lives better and to empower people to make important decisions for themselves and for their families, and those goals ultimately led her to law school. Deborah was determined to not only be a good attorney but to really listen to clients and understand their needs and concerns. Upon graduation, she began her career with Legal Aid of North Carolina in Winston-Salem. In February 2005, Deborah shifted her practice to focus exclusively on family law, an area of law she absolutely loves.
Deborah completed her undergraduate degree in Business at Queens University in Charlotte. Eighteen years later, she received her law degree from Syracuse University College of Law. Deborah is a certified Family Financial Mediator registered with the NC Dispute Resolution Commission and is a certified Collaborative Law Attorney.
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Steve Dunn is a managing neutral with Miles Mediation & Arbitration in Charlotte. He spent his entire 20-year litigation career at one firm, the Charlotte employment law boutique Van Hoy, Reutlinger, Adams & Dunn. His clients ranged from individual executives to Fortune 500 companies in virtually every industry, including banking, education, manufacturing, technology, construction, marketing, motorsports, and public sector clients throughout North Carolina.
Steve has extensive experience litigating all forms of employment discrimination in the North Carolina federal courts and the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. Through his representation of cities, counties, and public colleges, Steve developed an appreciation of the unique needs of public sector clients, including the First Amendment, public records, and constitutional torts.
Steve is a graduate of Duke University and University of North Carolina School of Law.
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David A. Hoffman is the John H. Watson, Jr. Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, where he teaches three courses: Mediation; Legal Profession: Collaborative Law; and Diversity and Dispute Resolution. David is also an attorney, mediator, arbitrator, and founding member of Boston Law Collaborative, LLC, where he handles cases involving family, business, employment, and other disputes. Prior to founding BLC in 2003, David was a litigation partner at the Boston firm Hill & Barlow, where he practiced family law, employment law, and general litigation for 17 years.
David is past-chair of the ABA Section of Dispute Resolution, past-president of the New England Chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution, and former chair of the Boston Bar Association ADR Committee. David is also a Distinguished Fellow of the International Academy of Mediators and a recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American College of Civil Trial Mediators. David has published three books (including "Bringing Peace into the Room," with co-editor Daniel Bowling) and more than 80 articles on law and dispute resolution.
David is a graduate of Princeton University (A.B. 1970, summa cum laude), Cornell University (M.A. 1974, American Studies), and Harvard Law School (J.D. 1984, magna cum laude), where he was an editor of the Harvard Law Review. David's TEDx talk about "Lawyers as Peacemakers" can be found on YouTube. David lives in a cohousing community in Acton, Massachusetts with his wife, Leslie Warner, who is a career coach. They have five adult children and an adolescent cat.
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Tara L. Kozlowski is the Executive Director of the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission. She has been with the Commission since July of 2018. Prior to working with the DRC Tara was a family law litigator and mediator, practicing with a small firm in Wake County. Tara obtained a B.S. degree in Chemistry from Indiana University, and her J.D. degree from The University of Toledo College of Law in 2006. She lives in Apex with her husband, two daughters, and two yellow labs. Please feel free to contact her at the DRC office anytime with questions or to introduce yourself.
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Robynn E. Moraites is the Executive Director of the NC LAP. She obtained her undergraduate degree in education from Florida State and her law degree from UNC at Chapel Hill. Prior to attending law school, she ran a public health program at the University of Miami where she developed continuing medical education programs for healthcare professionals working in the field of geriatric medicine.
Prior to joining the LAP, Robynn practiced law in North Carolina in large firm, small firm, and in-house settings. She has an extensive background and knowledge in helping lawyers in recovery.
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John W. Ong is the founder of John Ong Mediation & Collaborative Law in Charlotte. He is an attorney and mediator, is known as a creative problem solver in areas including construction and major loss cases. With over 30 years of litigation experience and over 14 years as a mediator certified by the NCDRC to conduct Superior Court Mediations, John recently opened his own firm to provide personalized service to his clients.
John is on the Council of the NCBA Dispute Resolution Commission, is the Inaugural Chair of the NCBA Construction Section's Dispute Resolution Committee and is one of the Founding Board Members of the North Carolina Civil Collaborative Law Committee.
John earned his B.A. from Connecticut College and his J.D. from Emory University School of Law.
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Shalanna L. Pirtle is Chief Talent, Diversity & Inclusion Officer and Partner at Parker Poe Adams & Bernstein LLP in Charlotte. She is Parker Poe's executive overseeing all aspects of talent management, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) in Charlotte. She sets the strategic vision and oversees implementation of the firm's efforts related to DEI, professional development, and recruiting and retention. She also cultivates strategic partnerships with organizations and individuals outside the firm to help further DEI in the legal profession and the broader community.
In addition, Shalanna is a trusted mediator and employment attorney. Certified as a mediator by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission, she mediates disputes of varying subject matters at the state and federal levels, both before and during litigation. She has deep experience identifying key areas of dispute, building bridges to better understanding between parties, and helping them find common ground.
Shalanna also represents employers in all industries and aspects of the employment relationship. An analytical counselor with intuitive problem-solving skills, she concentrates her practice in the areas of employment counseling, internal investigations, and litigation.
Shalanna regularly defends employers in litigation under all of the state and federal anti-discrimination laws, as well as employment contract disputes, wrongful discharge claims, and wage and hour issues. She also represents clients in proceedings before the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the North Carolina Departments of Labor and Commerce.
Shalanna earned her B.A. from Indiana University and her J.D. from the University of Georgia.
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Ketan P. Soni is a partner with Soni Brendle PLLC in Charlotte. Since 2000, Ketan has represented clients in divorce, equitable distribution, alimony, child custody, child support, domestic violence, and appeals in Charlotte, Raleigh, and the surrounding areas. Ketan practices divorce law to achieve the best possible result with a "big picture" view of each case. Ketan is also a North Carolina DRC Certified Family Financial and Superior Court Mediator.
In 2011, Ketan saw the damage the court process inflicted on spouses and parents, and so he opened a mediation practice designed to help spouses create their own resolution without having to go to court. Ketan now teaches a 40-hour Mediation Training Course approved by the Dispute Resolution Commission of North Carolina.
Ketan received his B.A. degree from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and his J.D. degree from Wake Forest University School of Law.
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Monica Webb-Shackleford partners with businesses and individuals to provide alternative dispute resolution and strategic legal advice. She is a Certified Superior Court Mediator through the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission, helping clients find effective solutions to conflicts as an alternative to litigating an issue in court. Monica also works with clients in the areas of employment law, contract negotiation, and appellate proceedings.
Monica began her legal career as a judicial law clerk for Chief Justice Sarah Parker of the Supreme Court of North Carolina. She then went on to work for eight years in a large, international law firm, representing corporate entities, healthcare practitioners, and individuals in a wide variety of litigation matters, including employment law, business litigation and appellate matters. She has represented clients in state and federal courts. Monica utilizes her experience to help clients develop effective strategies for resolving complex legal issues, while minimizing risks.
Monica is active in the legal community, serving as Chair of the Women in the Profession Committee of the North Carolina Bar Association, a Past President of the North Carolina Association of Women Attorneys, and a member of Legal Aid of North Carolina's statewide board of directors. She is also Vice Chair of the Anthony J. Trentini Foundation, a non-profit organization that provides educational scholarships to outstanding seniors from Wake Forest, North Carolina high schools.
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Danae C. Woodward is a mediator, facilitator, and collaborative employment lawyer with Woodward & Woodward PLLC in Charlotte, North Carolina. Danae has experience representing large, publicly traded companies, local governments, labor unions, and individuals in all aspects of employment and compensation matters. She has been a mediator since 2006 and mediates employment cases virtually and in person throughout the United States.
Danae's legal practice is currently focused on representing employers and assisting executives and professionals in negotiating employment, compensation, and exit packages. She is a former Chair of the North Carolina Bar Association's Dispute Resolution Section, a founding and current board member of the North Carolina Civil Collaborative Law Association (NCCCLA), and a Global Civil Collaborative Law Council member. In addition, Danae is a frequent speaker on employment law, mediation, and collaborative topics.
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